Bulge Police

A recent trip to the beach was marred by the sight of a guy in the tiniest of Speedo's (note: I was not in Europe . . . or Miami). I don't think I have to remind most of you of this, as the majority of my male friends, gay or straight, would never be caught dead wearing one. Unless you're at a swim meet, le Speedo is a fashion faux pas of the worst variety. Keep your junk in your trunks, and out of my view (and that of small children, for that matter). Do not stroll along the sandy shore, turning this way and that, smiling at passersby. A nice, unfussy pair of Lacoste shorts is all you need to highlight a beach body, no matter where you are in the world.

Navy swimming trunks, $98 @ Milk.

Photo credit: www.shopatmilk.com