In Which I Explain (and Beg Forgiveness for) My Extended Absence

It all started with Obamarama. The election results had the whole of New York rapt on high, and like my fellow blue-staters, I too was gripped by the collective euphoria that pervaded our city in the week that followed. Sadly, partying like Barackstars resulted in illness, as a stomach bug worked its way around the office. Once recovered, I "jetted" (Jet Blue's terminology, not mine) to Aruba for a much-needed vacay.

BUT! I came back with presents! I bring you news of monster sales that rage seemingly everywhere. You can skip the Black Friday madness entirely by hitting them up now. I'll be posting my favorite scores all week, but in the meantime, feel free to peruse the deeply discounted selections from the following retailers:

• Prepare to get racy -- there's a La Perla sale underway. The label's precious (and preciously priced) underthings can be had for up to 75% off. It's on now through the 28th at 260 5th Ave, from 9 AM to 6PM daily.
• If your prey is of the high-end variety, you can take advantage of retailers' vulnerability in these troubled economic times by scoring big at the MASSIVE Saks sale. 70% off, and good reports from everyone who's been, both male and female.
  
• NET-A-PORTER is peddling some of its pricy duds for a pittance.
  
• Ditto for Barney's, at up to 40% off. The girls selection is a tad better than the mens'.
  
• Shopbop.com is giving graduated discounts with $50 off purchases of $250 or more, $100 off purchases of $500+, $250 if it's $1000+, and $500 if you spend $1500+. Enter code "THANKS2U" at checkout.
  
• Active Endeavors keeps saying it's the "last day" to save on their sale stock, letting you take an additional 50% off with code "pick 50" at checkout. Both boys and girls, though real finds are a bit scant.
  
• 30-80% off over 9,000 styles for both guys and gals at Revolve.
  
• Enter code QB30 to get 30% off new merchandise at Queen Bee.
  
• LuvCharlie thanks YOU this Thanksgiving by giving you 25% off your purchase. Use code "ThankYou."
  
• Tobi gives 30% off, which includes sale items. Guys and gals.
  
• 30% at Satine, too.
  
• Code "INSTYLE08" will get you 25% off at Maneater Threads.
  
• YOOX.COM is willing to go up to 40% further with their markdowns.